Seven

...months ago today we returned. Did it make sense? Was it a good idea? Should we have done it in the first place? Those questions go through my mind nearly every day.

There are times, like yesterday, when it seems clearer. The days when we are surrounded by family, the people from whom we were separated by distance and time for nearly the whole year. The days when I can look at the Christmas tree that we went with Alice to pick out. The days when Alice wanders into her playroom, and the fact that we have the space and the good fortune to provide her that room (she has already drawn on the walls!).

But there are so many days, when I wonder why we left, wonder what is happening with those that we left behind, wonder what the point of the last eight or nine hours was...wonder why we are here.

As summer went on, we started scheduling a "date night," where Alice would stay with a babysitter, while we went out for a few hours. It quickly became the time when we would take care of things that were really hard to do with her around. Appliance shopping. Car shopping. All of the things that we actually now had to contend with as a practical matter.

Toward summer's end, our focus shifted. We began to search for a home. A place to be. Something permanent. Something that we didn't have in our old cycle of four months here, two months there. A place where Alice could grow up, a place where she could bring her friends, a place where we could gather our large and strange (in a good way!) family. A place of our own...