My fifth graduation since I began working here, and likely the last. More than one or two of the students and/or local folks are of the opinion that we will be back after a year away. I'm not sure about that. I don't want to be going into this project only halfway committed to making it work. That does not seem like the right frame of mind. If we do make it work, we won't be coming back except to visit.
We went to a memorial feast for one of our elders who died a year ago yesterday. I told his daughter that he was a role model for me. I remember a conversation with his wife before I actually moved here. I think it was on my second visit. She asked me when I was moving here. I don't remember what I said in response, probably something about not having a job. She said that I should be like Jack, and become a househusband. He apparently recommended it highly, if I understood his take on it. I am still working on getting there. I did realize that we would actually be ahead financially if I did and we stayed here. Funny.
My wife is the featured adult speaker tonight, and I am not sure how we are going to handle that. Alice is in the clingy to mom phase right now, and our babysitter will want to be at graduation for her cousin and all around buddy, who is one of the grads. I'm not sure how she will handle it when she can see Mommy, but can't get to her. I am not sure that I want to watch the speech anyway. Too many potential tears there. Leaving here is just tough, and I don't know how to explain that to anybody back in Michigan. I can only think of a couple people there who might actually get it. I don't want to go back and be all sad and mopy. I think that too many people will take it personally. But sad and mopy is how I feel a lot these days.
I just don't have a good way to resolve it that I can see right now. Guess I will just let it ride, and hope that it eases.
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