Monday Morning, Catching Up...

Time for an update. First, an answer to a couple of burning questions:

1) No, they didn't...
2) No, I didn't...

Hope that that clarifies a few things.

Now, on to the steam bath on saturday night. First, I appear to have survived with my skin pretty much intact, although I did have some interesting marks that faded by Sunday morning. Here's how it works: The steam house has two rooms. The outer room is for hanging up your clothes, getting naked, and cooling off when you can't take any more heat on the inside. The inside room is where the real torture business takes place. There is a fire going, with rocks suspended on a metal grate over the flame. The rocks get hot, and it's only the kind thing to do to pour some water on them to cool them off. Guess what happens next??

So far, you're thinking this sounds like a sauna, right?? The answer would be: sort of. These guys (and the guys apparently like to show off) like it hot. REAL HOT. The first go-around is not too bad, really. The fun stuff comes on the return trips, as the room becomes hotter and hotter. I was convinced at one point that my hands were about to burst into flame. I left shortly thereafter.

On the outside, you cool off and B.S. with the other guys. Then each maniac regains courage and plunges back into the pits of Hell. (Not a literal representation.) Eventually, I would convince myself that it wasn't REALLY that bad and wander back in for more masochism. When I was inside, I would sit in a Lotus position (picture that, kids...) with a hand towel over my head to keep my ears from igniting spontaneously, and concentrate on breathing through the heat. This would generally work through a pour or two, but sooner or later, the heat would get to be too much, and it would be time to bail out again.

The funniest parts of this exercise come when someone bails out, or when someone goes back in. Both events are usually accompanied by muffled grunts, exclamations, or curses. It is, of course, funnier when the noises in question are being made by someone else. When another pour is made over the rocks, the discomfort becomes more intense. It will pass if you can take it, but some jokester will eventually decide to make that one last pour that sends you (and maybe him) heading for the door as fast as you can.

When we have all had enough, we go back into the hot room with soap, scrubs, and razors to shave and clean up. The amount of funky sweat that comes out of the body is incredible. I did not want to be around the towel that I had on my head, because it smelled so bad.

This operation took about four hours. My understanding is that the women do it differently, and I will leave that up to any guest commentators who wish to post a description. I felt great. This is apparently going to be a weekly event for the men of the faculty who wish to participate. I plan on being there.