Sleepy...

A long day, fun in parts. The tapping count game in math class, for instance. Being able to work one-on-one with a student for an extended period of time. Reading with a couple of kids. Doing a pizza delivery fund raiser with my sweetie and the seniors. Those were the fun parts. Giving a hug to the little girls who ran up to me in the cold, yelling "Mr. Hicok, we love you!" It makes some of the less fun parts more tolerable.

There are plenty of those, but not enough to ultimately matter. I realized clearly tonight, sitting in the school taking pizza orders, that I love these kids, and not just the ones who make my life easy.

There is little enough of that in some of their lives, and it is not my place to decide who is to blame or who should be condemned. It doesn't matter. The important thing is to be there and to try, again and again if necessary. It is not always fulfilling. There is not necessarily a happy movie ending, as a wise teacher of my acquaintance puts it. If they can live happy and some kind of normal lives, and if I can have any thing to do with it, even in the smallest way, that is enough.

I am still periodically congested, and I get really cough-prone at night, but I suspect that I will survive. And seven weeks from tonight, I get to take a little break and see some dear family and friends for a while. I look forward to the chance.